Risks

While on our trip out west this summer, we stopped by the Devil's Wash Basin in Idaho. Fenceless chasms with lava black rocks were a surprising phenomena compared to the flat wind driven terrain surrounding it. On this expedition, my Kansas boy and his Idaho friend decided to venture to the edge of a EVERYTHING! Whereas I was terrified, a daring spirit compelled them to take risks. I have been thinking about what it is going to take for me to take risks and engage this year. 

Photo Credit: Fordtograph-E

At the start of each year, I have made it a habit of considering one word to focus on for the next twelve months.

For Christmas, my brother in law gave me a watch. In the aftermath of the holiday season, as I sat with pen in hand at a coffee shop, I thought through some of the gifts that I had received and what message was handed to me through them.

That's it. The invitation for 2017 is this: 

Watch and Engage.  

I want 2017 to make a difference. I want to see more lives set free from exploitation.  

Unanswered questions from 2016 sit like a paperweight on my heart. I am desperate. Desperate to know that this life is making a difference. Desperate to hear from Heaven that it matters, that we have not gone astray. 

Disappointment. We have all tasted it. Resolutions for the new year often end up in the dust of daily demands. It is not a resolution unless it provides some kind of solution for our life. And this solution needs to be rooted in our soul, becoming a part of who we are not just an item we check off. What motivates true change comes from our resolve within. 

If we are going to see change not only in our lives but in the world around us 

we must be in tune with what our heart is passionate about. 

Have you ever felt small and insignificant? Recently recollections came of a time in my life when I had just moved out of my parent's house, was renting a bedroom at a friend's, and working at an after school program 3 hours a day. With a car that didn't pass smog check, I spent a lot of time at home. It was a season where I felt insignificant to the world. During that time a friend gave me a beautiful map for my bedroom wall. While looking at it one day, I heard the question, "Where do you want to go..." I had every reason to think up a place near where I lived. But it pressed again, "Where do you want to GO?" 

I want to go to Thailand. 

That was the dream, my passion - to live and love overseas. In Thailand, this Cali girl met a Kansas boy, an artist, a dreamer, an entrepreneur, someone crazy enough to follow a dream. When he left after that first two weeks of volunteering, I walked away after giving him a hug and felt like I was going to cry. What was the matter with me?? At that time, I didn't even know that he liked me! It was a year later that we drafted this...some of the dreams we hold for our world. Our passion is to see the people set free and restored through the power of God. 

To be completely honest, we don't know what we are doing, but it's happening. How? Through risk. Do you remember the story of Peter walking on water? He watched Jesus do something impossible and He stepped out to follow Him. It happened in a moment of panic and loneliness. They were striving to reach land while the waves and wind were against them. I have heard people talk about 2017 being a year of breakthrough. In order to break through something, there needs to be an obstacle. The thing is with Peter, he didn't see the wind and the waves as an obstacle, He just saw his close friend do something impossible, and He wanted to follow. Our downfall comes when we look at the impossibilities, and let them dictate what we can or can not do.

In this new year, we need to surround ourselves with people who will push past the odds with us. My Kansas boy and I are incredibly blessed to have a pastor and his wife who are big dreamers, and also big doers. They do with crazy faith. I want you to know that even if you feel small and insignificant, even if your dreams seem out of reach, that you were made to take risks. 

Photo Credit: Fordtograph-E

Have you ever considered why you were born in this generation? 

For me, it is to engage in the anti-human trafficking movement. This is a generation that speaks out against injustice and inequality. In the last few years huge strides have been made in trauma informed care. Sure we have had revolutionaries who fought against slavery, this is no different, but the way our culture values not only freedom but true inner emotional, mental, and spiritual freedom is unique.

Survivors of human trafficking are my heroes. They are overcomers. Did you know that it is common for a victim to return 7 times before they can truly break away for good from their exploiter? But does it have to be this way? Is anyone pushing to see this change? This is the kind of breakthrough that I am talking about. I love talking with survivors. They inspire me. Every survivor is also a leader. Their triumph in overcoming insurmountable odds shows me that it is possible, that someone can not only survive but thrive.

Peter had to step out of the boat. We have to get out there in order to see impossible things happen. Maybe I am crazy to say that I want to see a victim leave once and leave for good. I believe it is possible. Why? Because Mary Magdalene did it. Did you know that Jesus cast 7 demons out of her? Seven. She never went back, she was never harassed again. And what did she do? She followed Jesus around, she watched Him, she gave to Him and served Him. (See Luke 8:2-3.)

Victims of trafficking have demons they fight, demons that speak to them, that yell at them, that push and pull them back and forth, beating them from inside just as their tormentors, their pimps have done outside their skin. These are the demons of terror, manipulation, control, unworthiness, self-loathing, that exploit from within. Are we fighting with them against these demons? Are we speaking life? Mary Magdalene's life was transformed when those demons were cast out and I have a thought that it was in walking with Jesus, in learning of new way of being loved, that she was healed. This is why I believe in restorative relationships.

Friends, it has already been done, and it can happen again.

When you look into the eyes of someone and wonder if they are ever going to come out, if there is ever going to be a change, remember Mary of Magdalene. She was set free and met wholeness in the eyes of the Holy One.

My life intersected with three women this past week in exploitative situations. In each encounter, I had a decision to either step out or stay in. You get what I am talking about? Am I going to give her a hug, or am I going to walk by? Am I going to buy her drink, or am I going to dismiss that thought and carry on about my day?

It really only takes a moment. As the seconds of a watch tick by, we are given moments to watch and move on or watch and engage. 

The world is crying out for us to engage. We are not bystanders, we participate because frankly, the time of breakthrough, of healing and freedom has come. What risk will you take?

Photo Credit: Fordtograph-E

Our View of Sex

In recent years we have seen a flood of films, documentaries, and discussion centered around sex trafficking. With the prevalence of access to social media that even the most impoverished communities have, exploitation can touch anyone anywhere. It is a very difficult issue to face. Millions of slaves worldwide, wow, how am I to make a difference? We may feel powerless in our inability to know what we can do, especially in our own communities.

If we are going to make a difference in the exploitation of human trafficking, we need to take an honest look at our view of...

SEX.

We live in a sexually charged culture. Adolescent youth often find their initiation into adulthood and significance in who they slept with. TV commercials highlight a woman’s attractiveness through her sexual appeal. We are quick to defend a person based on their sexual orientation. Researchers say that both genders are exposed to pornography by the age of 8.  With the prevalence of sexual abuse from an early age, a generation is growing up with a warped view of love. In the church we wrestle with how to approach this topic. Many struggle to talk about sex with their teenage son or daughter. Today our youth are gleaning wisdom from Hollywood and their peers. We can do better. How?

With Truth and Grace.

In a sexually charged culture our identity and lifestyle are shaped by the way we view sex.

What was your first introduction to sex? Does sex education come to mind? Was it pornographic material? Sexual experimentation? Abuse?

What feelings are associated? Was it positive? Or if someone exposed you through force, how did you process your experience? Are there feelings of shame? Have you told anyone? And if so, what was their response?

Sex is a beautiful thing. Why has it been so difficult to talk about it from the church pulpit or to even dialogue with our friends and not feel embarrassed in the process? In the church abstinence and virginity are highly valued. How then is the church to respond to the over 80% (in the church) who are involved in premarital sex? Why have so many silently blamed themselves for abuse, struggled with pornography, or sexual attractions and addictions?

Did you feel seen for who you are, and not defined by the act? 
In a sexually charged culture, we build our identity around our sexual experiences.

This is where Truth and Grace come in.

Truth: Sex impacts on a deep level.

Grace: You carry immeasurable value and dignity that nothing and no one can take away.

Why is it so hard to believe this?

Shame.

For example: Virginity is a beautiful thing but it does not define who you are. This is based again on your perspective of truth and grace.

Truth: acknowledging the reality of what happened.

Grace: to be embraced fully free from fear and shame.

Have you experienced this? Have you been able to look honestly at the way you were raised, at the value or lack of value sex had? Was there shame around the topic, even it it’s most pure context? Was grace something you experienced? Your answer will affect the way you engage in the effort against human trafficking and sexual exploitation. Its ramifications will affect the culture you live in today. Yes, sex is an act with immeasurable ramifications. But it does not determine my value. John Perkins grips us with, “We don’t give dignity, we affirm it.”

So how do we bring up the issue of sex in our circles today? Is it spoken of with crude humor or respect? We must change the way we talk about sex if we are going to see a change in the sexual exploitation around us. In the church, we do this by choosing to embrace others with love free from judgement.

We acknowledge the act but we always embrace the person.

If you are reading this and have experienced sexual exploitation, I want you to hear me. You are not marred. You are valuable. You have intrinsic worth. Your body is a gift. Your love brings life. Don’t let shame and fear keep you bound up. It starts by telling your story, acknowledging what happened both verbally and emotionally. Then receiving grace.

From this place of receiving truth and grace we can embrace the sexually broken. On a spiritual level, our bodies are deeply impacted by our intimacy with others. That is why in the church we value sex and why we protect our bodies and choose to experience sexual intimacy within a committed covenant relationship. Both the bodies and spirits of those who have been exploited must be restored. God’s Spirit came to fill us, to affirm the unique intrinsic value we carry, the person that Jesus came to save. His saving power gives us the ability to forgive our perpetrators, to forgive ourselves, to remove the accusing finger. Receiving God's love uniquely positions us to respond with humility and wisdom to the sexual exploitation around us. 

When we take an honest look at our view of sex and receive truth and grace, we step onto a path of sexual freedom and create a culture that fights for and embraces those who have experienced exploitation.

Copyright 2016 by Fordtograph-E

More to Life

I love being a mom but there is more to my life than this. We moved three months ago. Even though there is so much more to do here, I have been feeling a bit alone of late. My 5th move in 5 years of marriage, this time starting over in a new location. It's inspiring to begin somewhere new, yet it can also be an emotionally daunting task.

As a child there were two things that I wanted to be in life, a mommy and a missionary. Seasons come where it seems that hours are spent holding little ones, redirecting, listening, giving input, and just being. One of the things that I value from being home schooled was how life really revolved around the home. Education, morals, dreams, and interests were all explored within it's walls. Our new rental is amazing! It is more spacious than I could have imagined with a large backyard and I am excited for the explorations that will take place here. It is one of my greatest desires that the culture of our home would cultivate my children's gifts and that they would receive a framework with which they can interact with the world. Sometimes in all the “mommy” things of life, the other part of me feels forgotten. There are days when I struggle with finding balance. Balance between living missionally, i.e. getting things done and taking care of their needs.

This past year has been a whirlwind. There were moments I just stopped and tried to take it all in before the next thing happened. Tonight in putting the final touches on dinner, both girls were screaming, and to not loose my sanity, I said, "Thanks God, for these girls, that I get to be a mom." Simple. It worked. Something shifted in my heart. They were still a hot mess, but my attitude changed.

So back to why I feel like there is more. There is a second part. The missional part. The being a mom part is a given. The missional part is the part I feel is a fight. It's about fighting for what's deep in my heart. Not everyone needs to find fulfillment in the same ways. The unique way I was wired, my perspective on life cultivates desires that keep pushing forward insisting I pay attention. Each of us has a background and passions that speak to us on a daily basis. One of the things I am compelled to do is write. It's a way to both express and extend myself to the world. Another way is being involved in justice work, speaking up for those who have no voice. I live to see broken lives restored, to see God show up in the most hopeless, most impossible. It often feels overwhelming to balance the work I do and the thousand little needs that cry out for my attention every day. Especially with small children.

It is easy to look at my single friends and reminisce of the freedoms I enjoyed, but really, each of us faces needs in our lives that push for our attention. I can still see Ellie looking across the table at me tonight asking why I was sitting in a different seat (closer to Lyric since Eric was gone), and then we laughed as I stretched my arm out, "I can't reach you, Ellie!" Some things may feel a bit out of reach right now, but stop and thank God in the middle of your now, there is a gift, a strength.

I have some questions, and if you would like to share your insight, please comment below. How do you invest in your children and live missionally? Is there something that if left undone causes you to feel incomplete? Where do you find yourself in the journey of discovering what gives you life? What word of advice would you give to those of us who are met with great needs both inside the home in in the work we do? 

Here are a few things that I have been mulling over lately. Accept my apologies in advance for those who can’t relate to this season of my life, you can stop reading now, but to those who want to explore this with me, let us journey on.

Here are a few words of wisdom I am trying to center my life around.

Thriving.

What brings me joy, rest, peace?

What am I going to do to thrive?

Some things in life we can’t change. But we can respond to our life and cultivate space for being healthy and whole. If we run ourselves dry, what else will we have to offer?

While I lived in Thailand (you can read about those experiences in previous blog posts on Shelter and Rain) there would be days I escaped to a coffee shop to write, to think, to be. That luxury comes in large intervals with my present situation. So I have to give thought to what I need now…

A cup of coffee in the morning.

To sit up for a bit after the kids go to bed, to journal, to blog, to write that book a friend and I started.

Intentionality.

I can’t wait to see my family in California. It looks like it may be a few months out. Some days there is an ache in my heart, a sadness in not being present with them. How can I fill some of those longings right now?

A phone call? A note. Intentionality.

It is really hard for me to take time for myself. I often feel guilty. But if I keep giving and don’t get a break, I go nuts. Ask my husband! With the new church plant that we are a part of, I want to live from a life of fullness, to give to these people and not on empty. Sometimes this means saying “no”, to things I would even enjoy doing, to live out the best.

One of the things that brings me joy is sitting silently in God's presence and journaling the words He speaks to me. It has been awhile since I have done this. Anyone else with me? Where do you go when there is a long spell of silence? In my case, I think I have just gotten busy with doing daily life and completing tasks. Good tasks. But I’m running on empty.

Today I heard: “Your girls need to see you resting, they need to see you play.”

I recently asked a fellow momma who engages in a similar call, “What advice do you have for a young momma working in this field?”

“Make sure your kids know that life doesn’t revolve around them.”

Culture. What kind of culture are they being raised in? It starts simply...

Christmas is approaching. I find our conversations at the store gravitating to “Ok, I’ll get that, but let’s save it for Christmas…” I am setting up a culture of getting. Is this what is truly on my heart? Receiving is wonderful, we receive the incarnational life that Jesus came to give us. But it is not the only thing we are called to. We receive so we can Give. I want their hearts to be cultivated with a desire to give. So I have been pondering little ways of doing that.

Growing up, Mom used to set up tables in the garage and we spent hours hand making gifts to give at Christmas. Our tree at home is often adorned with ornaments with the smudge of fingerprints from years ago. Have you handcrafted Christmas gifts before? And if so, what? How have you cultivated a spirit of giving when the entire culture screams consumerism?

Slow Down.

Sometimes we can receive the most profound advice from those whom we hardly know. There is a gal at church whom I have been blessed to speak with on only a few occasions. We met randomly at Starbucks one night. These are the two words she said as we parted ways a few Sundays ago.  

Slow down.

You know, I think there are a lot of things we do just because we think it will make or break our situation. What if we are making these decisions based on the perceived opinions of others? We need to stop comparing ourselves with others.

While in Thailand my sister visited me during a very strained time. I felt spread thin. The reason? Trying to meet expectations I perceived those in leadership had of me. But they weren’t the expectations that God had. So I slowed down. I made a schedule that allowed me to be home most afternoons. And you know what? Nothing fell apart. What expectations, especially in this season are you striving to live up to? Is it worth it?

Trust me, listening to His voice as you journey towards being the most true form of yourself will unlock things inside you never realized were there.

So in whatever season you are in, may you thrive, live from intentionality, and slow down to breathe in the gifts around you. This is part of the incarnation we celebrate at Christmas. May we each be present to the world in this day. 

Photo credit: Fordtograh-E.

Giving Tuesday

On this “Giving Tuesday” we want to invite you to join us in seeing lives set free and restored from sexual exploitation and human trafficking!

Human trafficking remains a key area of concern on our hearts. The average age of entry is between 12-14 years old. In the US alone there are an estimated 300,000 children involved in sex trafficking. Wichita has been rated as the 5th largest originating city. Driving through downtown Wichita you find a large homeless population with ties to the drug world and where women turn to prostitution just to survive. Youth who runaway often find themselves approached by a pimp or trafficker within 48 hours of living on the streets. It can seem overwhelming and hopeless at times. While investing in this work for the past 7 years, we have seen God take people out of impossible situations, and give them a fresh start. This next year, there are many ways that we are looking to expand to make a difference and we need your help. Rarely do we put out a general invitation because we love to meet with people on a one on one basis and share the vision with them. On this giving Tuesday, consider this our personal invitation to you, to share from your financial resources to invest in us so that the mission of Shelter and Rain can continue.

Through your monthly or one time gift, you are making an impact in the following ways:

• Outreach to local strip clubs.
• Awareness and prevention initiatives for youth.
• A coalition whose members create a web of services to help victims and survivors.
• Developing a response to meet gaps of care for adult survivors.
• Investing in the long term recovery of survivors through ongoing restorative relationships.
• Global collaboration in anti-trafficking efforts.

We are dependant on the generosity of people who care deeply. Thank you for being one of those who care.

Online Giving can be done securely through http://www.wolm.org/on-line-giving.html

Select Other or Southwest Tithes and Offerings in the drop down box.

Under the giving amount in the Donation section, type "Human Trafficking Ministry" (Most important part!) 

You can set this up as a one time or monthly recurring gift. 

Thank you!

Christmas Giving Trees 

Deciding to Settle

I don't know if you are like me but I cringe at the word settle. Hearing this word offers a sentiment of somehow giving up a life of transience and spontaneity, and embracing a more sedentary, rhythmical life. This view also pushes against my inner world that is constantly reaching out, dreaming forward, taking steps to impact this world with change. I was given a painting once. During a conference I attended, an artist stood at the front and spread paint across a white canvas as the sessions rolled on. At the end, she called my name and gave it to me. The tittle of the art piece, Transition. Taped to the back is a paper with these words, 

"Change can be uncomfortable. Many people avoid change at all cost.

But the most beautiful things can come from change. 

The most beautiful times of the day are sunrise and sunset - the times of major transition. 

So don't run from change. 

If God has you in transition, press into Him.

Ask Him to show you the beauty that He wants to bring in spite of the discomfort." 

Transition can be hard, it is stretching and uncomfortable. Two years ago, we made a big decision, Eric quit his solid day job, and we left for mission's training in LA. Our vision, to do full time anti-trafficking work. We thought this training was the next step towards our return to Thailand. At the end, as we presented this vision to the leadership there, something felt amiss. For several nights I stood in the shower, tears streaming down my cheeks, honestly mad at God. I cringed at the idea of living in the states longer. But as we looked at it, something was unfinished. We both knew that God was reaffirming His call to our current location. Why? God, You better know what You are doing. 

Towards the end of our stay in LA, our clothes were dirty, and we needed to find a coin wash nearby. Walking across the street, we stumbled upon Maytag Coinwash. Hispanic radio was playing and somehow, I felt at home. Growing up in California, our lives were sprinkled with contact with people of various cultures and ethnicities. Many don't know this, but I am first generation American on my mother's side. As a Dutch Armenian immigrant, she and her family came across the Atlantic in a ship when she was 5 years old. The nations are in my blood. I love culture. 

Fast forward from those two weeks in LA, and we are almost at the two year mark. We recently were in the process of looking for a new home. Seriously, I made numerous calls, poured over the internet, and NO RESPONSE from ANYONE. Two weeks, a month passed by. Then while browsing again for the millionth time, I stumbled upon the add for a home I had looked at a month before. Previously listed as a rent to own, it was now just a rental. At the time, looking at the pictures, it was the home I wanted to live in!  For those of you who live in a large city, you know that there are places that you may feel comfortable to live in, and others not so much. Wichita is like that. It's BIG, and there are streets that speak of poverty, wealth, streets with kids running down the center, and others where not a soul is out. Often these places are in each other's backyard. It is hard to know if you want to live somewhere unless you drive there. So we did. On our way, we got turned around and drove past a Cambodian Buhhdist temple. I was so excited! This is where I want to live!!

This morning, the Syrian refugee crisis is on my heart. I honestly don't know what to do. I know that there is much that I can do. I think a lot about how to give my kids a taste of cultures, while living in the heartland of America. And here it is. I have chosen in my heart to not settle down but settle in. When I settle in, I am embracing my surroundings, the people, the circumstances, the social status, and letting God do a work in my life. The longing to travel to the nations is still there. But while I am here, I know that His world, the nations, are all around me. Whether in a coin laundry wash in LA, or in an ethnic community on the urban heartland, there are people who are longing for change. 

My life is marked by caring for two little people, supporting an artistic husband as together we pursue a life marked by compassion and justice. We want to make an impact, we want to be the change. You can too. You are uniquely positioned in the community you live in, with the people around you, to love. Love tells us that it is not about the things that we do but the people we touch. Settling in to love is the greatest invitation alive. It is what Jesus called us to do when He said, "Abide." It is a heart choice, to beat with His heart, to hear and see what moves Him, and to respond. This morning, I woke up before the girls, which is rare, and got to sit for a bit in His presence. "Quiet down, wait, just be." Oh it is so hard! I keep coming to John 15, the vine and the branches and there it is again...abide, love, bear much fruit. He is the one my heart settles for. I can hear little feet pitter pattering towards me, I think it is time, to embrace the chaos and joy. Will you join me? Let's not just settle down, lets settle in to the gift of life we have been given. 

That Doesn't Happen Here!

While running errands on the south end of town, my eyes caught sight of a young woman standing at the corner of the parking lot. "Need Help to Get to Arizona" her sign read as traffic passed by. "Hello!" I asked as I pulled up. "Do you need help?" Her story consisted of needing money so that she and her husband and baby could return to family in Arizona. "Where are you from?" I asked, "Romania." Interesting. This was at the end of October 2014. 

That following Spring I was driving alone and saw another young woman near the same location, similar sign. Parking my car a little ways off, I approached her on foot. Handing her a bag filled with some small snacks and a water bottle, I attempted to chat with her. Apologetically she responded that she didn't speak any English. Her appearance looked familiar. "Are you from Romania?" I asked, "Yes!" "Who are you here with?" The story came out that her boyfriend was currently at Wal Mart getting the car fixed. When I asked her how she had come to America, she opened up and shared that she had come through a Mexican man and that she had no legal documents.

Throughout the past 5 years while involved in raising awareness regarding the trafficking of persons, I have often been met with disbelief and comments like, "That doesn't happen here!" Are you sure?

If we are going to identify human trafficking today, 

we need to step back and reevaluate what is before us. 

While pregnant with my first daughter, I worked on intake at a homeless shelter. One day a young woman sat before me. She had come from Oregon where her adoptive parents had been controlling, overprotective, and refused to give her her passport. This beautiful girl from a third world country was filled with resilience and determination. Have you heard about human trafficking? I asked. "Oh yes," she responded.

Another gal I met while working there was from Wichita, her boyfriend was in jail. An exuberant young person, she boasted of many things and eventually was asked to leave because of her negative influence including drugs. I had my concerns about her. 

There are many more stories I could share.

Trafficking is determined by identifying influences of either force, fraud, or coercion. If someone is being controlled for the personal advantage of another person, money being withheld or required for things that person is not responsible to pay, if they are soliciting help and not able to keep the money, these can all be a part of their involvement in human trafficking. Even if it doesn't begin with sex, it often leads there. 

In 2011 when I left Thailand after volunteering with Nightlight International, I was unaware how my life could help those affected by human trafficking in the states. Part of it has been learning how to identify it here. Often we have an idea of what human trafficking looks like and are missing it completely. I don't think it is by asking them straight out if they have heard about human trafficking or are being trafficked. 

So how are we to respond?

I would like to take the next several weeks as we approach the holiday season to explore how we can respond with compassion and wisdom in regards to those affected by human trafficking and the commercial sex industry. I invite you to explore this with me and share your input as we journey together. 

To Love is to Come Alive

You know when you are doing something that you love, 

you just come alive. 

It was so inspiring attending this year's Abolition Summit in Kansas City with Exodus Cry. This was our fourth consecutive conference. Unfortunately we were only able to attend Friday's events, but it was such an amazing time! The Abolition Summit is a place for both the advocate in the trenches fighting sexual exploitation, to the interested individual just beginning to explore how their life intersects with this work. Exodus Cry does a phenomenal job at joining together experts including survivors, psychologists, pastors, and those who directly serve victims and survivors to speak on this issue. 

I was struck by the similarity in advice given by survivor, Rebecca Bender, and Dr. of Psychology, Dan Allender. 

"Help them (the survivor) find their dream." R.B.   "Help them learn what they have been made to love." D.A.

As we journey towards the vision to see lives restored, we recognize that this is a key piece for not only ourselves but the people we love. 

Currently we are in a season of transition as we move. This opportunity came as a direct invitation from some friends of ours who are launching a church. One of the core values for their church is restoration, we love that. As we look for a place to live, raise support, continue the work that has been started in our current city, we are on a journey of pursuing the dreams God has placed on our hearts. 

We have been dreaming of a partnership with international missions. We have been dreaming of a place where women and children who have been rescued from sexual exploitation can find safety and healing. We dream of not only being able to outreach into places of darkness but cultivate real authentic relationships with the people there. We dream of empowering those who have been affected by sexual exploitation, to heal through the creative arts, movement, prayer, and to explore their own dreams. We dream of building a team of people who will partner with us to address not only the exploited but the exploiter, who is severely broken as well. We dream of a community that honors and protects the vulnerable. We dream of helping people find and do what they love. This is what fuels us. 

This past month we took time away to road trip out to California and back. This trip spanned nearly 6,000 miles. We returned exhausted yet inspired. Beauty inspires us. Did you know that it is easy to begin to fight for the hearts of others while missing the own fight for our own heart? Those of us who feel compelled to help others, are we letting our own hearts be cared for? Are we pursuing the things that we love? We had just come out of a very intense season. We were exhausted and made an intentional decision to get away. One of our favorite places we visited was Crater Lake National Park. Boasting as the deepest lake in the US, Crater Lake was breathtaking! With sheer cliffs down to it's edge, crystal blue water, and towering pines, our hearts were in awe.

Even in all this beauty, we had to take the time to sit, and just take it in. Sometimes, in all this transition, it is easy to think about what is next, to anticipate the next thing. I am personally being challenged to just "be" in these moments. To quiet down and listen to my heart and what it is saying. It is hard. It is a fight. Today as I take a moment to sit and reflect on the things I love, and the things that make me come alive, I must remember a few things:

Be willing to say "No"

Don't compare
Embrace your uniqueness
Position yourself
Start small
Be patient
Be courageous
Often what you love will seem "fun" and not "work". Don't overthink it. Go with your gut. Sit in God's presence and let Him uncover your desires. 

To love is to come alive.