Koh Samet

Harbor...love all the colors

Fishing I think

Dreams

So I had this dream about two or three weeks ago. Somehow I ended up following this girl as she was walking down the sidewalk. I kept my distance and watched as she went and stood by a table that was set for two people. Stopping at the table, she looked at the settings and I could feel that something inside of her was missing and longing for what she had experienced there, true love. It was then that she turned around and as she came towards me I opened my arms and embraced her. Immediately I felt the love from the Holy Spirit come and touch her through me. She felt it too although I instinctively knew that she didn't understand what was going on. The dream continued by us being in this car in the middle of the road. I was with two other women who were also on this "outreach" with me. I looked at the girl I had run into on the streets and started telling her that it wasn't worth it, to sell her body and that only God is worth her love. I remember her looking at me questioningly with doubt and a hardness that prevented her from really being able to really receive what I was saying. At this point I suddenly heard sirens. They were coming from fire trucks that were nearing us. We were warned that there was a huge tree in the forest near us that was about to fall and they were trying to get to it to cut it down before this disaster happened. The dream ended by me putting my foot on the gas pedal and reversing.

I believe that God gave me this dream as a warning for a situation that me and my ministry team have been dealing with over the past couple weeks. What is even more significant is that recently me and the two other women in my dream ended up having an encounter with a girl who I believe was represented by the woman who had stopped at the tables in my dream. There is a lot of heavy spiritual stuff going on in her life and me and my teammates really need God's divine discernment.

Here in Thailand I meet many people here who dream. Dreams are one of the ways that God speaks to His children. So many times we can get caught up in life and as we sleep we are in a place of rest where God can often get our attention. Dreams can also be a target for Satan's attacks. Often in the area God desires to speak to and through us the most will be attacked. In my own life I have seen how satan wants to mess with my ability to love and causes me to doubt the impulse of the Spirit within me. I am working on that here in Thailand. I want to be in a place where I receive deeply from God's love and that I am not afraid to step out and risk my own "face" in order to bring His light into darkness. Here in Thailand I also need discernment. Ephesian 1 where Paul talks about the Father of glory giving a spirit of wisdom and revelation to those who love Him and His people, has been one of my prayers. I want to be able to see more into the supernatural realm. I want to experience the same power that raised Jesus from the dead!

I have also been reminded a lot lately of dreams that God has put inside me since I was young. Recently as I was praying in my room He said, "Janie, close your eyes." I saw this puppy come and lick my face all over. I smiled. The Lord spoke to me and said that the things I have longed for even as a little girl are being given to me now. I remember that when I was young I wanted so much to love on the hurting and broken, especially children. I also remember that as I was learning sign language in high school, I had dreamed of some day using it overseas. Just the other day I was with one of the other volunteers here. She was going to buy some T-shirts from a woman who is deaf. While I was with here, I started signing with her and SHE COULD UNDERSTAND ME!! I was soo excited! I was able to pray over her in sign and communicate enough to be able to have some what of a conversation. Haha! My brain was so tired that night. Having to think in Thai and then in sign was a stretch. But I was soo happy as I thought of the amazingness of God and how He remembers and gives me the desires of my heart. There are a lot of deaf people out here on the streets of Bangkok selling things and I am looking forward to building relationship with them in the days ahead.

So there ya go. A little more of an update for all of you who are following my e-mails and blog. :) I pray that you are encouraged to pay attention to the dreams that God gives you. He has great things in store for each of His children!

LOVE

I want to Love in such a way that the powers of darkness are reminded that they have been disarmed.

I want Love to come and breathe through me so the spirits of the dead come alive.

I want to love till the passion of heaven, the warmth and fire of His mercy and justice come and embrace the most hurting and broken.

I want the love that I carry to be so strong that by a very glance or touch, healing and deliverance come.

I want to see a generation taking hold of their inheritance as sons and daughters of heaven rising up from the darkness and causing the heads of nations to turn and know that there is a Saving God

I want to see people touched with Jesus' tenderness and heart of unabashed justice that pursues till the end. This is not just a love you hear about in church and forget about the moment you step outside the doors of comfort into the real world. I am talking about a radical encounter with the heart of the Father. With a love that touches ones core. I am talking about a love that is real and simple and beautiful. I am talking about love that you don't have to strive or perform well for. I am talking about the kind of love that embraces. I see this love at work when I walk into the bars. I see those girls dancing and men staring and I see their beautiful faces and their pain and the work they have accepted as necessary and from within me rises up a rushing emotion of passionate love, a river that pushes it's way to the windows of my soul. I am talking about the kind of love that goes out and has dinner with a woman who the moment you say goodbye to is going back to the street to look for a customer. And then she comes and finds you the very next morning because even tho she can't fully embrace the fullness of love and transformation Jesus offers, she can't stay away. I am talking about little children who are being used on the streets to sell gum for the profit of someone else smiling and laughing because someone cared enough to stop and wrap their arms around them and whisper acceptance into their ear.

I want to encounter this Love.

To wake up in the morning in it's arms. To face suffering, conflict and persecution sustained by His presence. I have to have Jesus' presence! Oh God...let me embrace the time to wait on You. To give You the place in my life You deserve. When all is over and passes away I want to be found in love with the Greatest Lover the world has ever known.

I want to see Love come.

A Glimpse Into My Life

Thailand! There are many days when I have to pinch and remind myself that I am REALLY here! I love the people, all the colors, night life when the streets are lit and people are out selling all kinds of meat, rice, fruit, etc. and the fact that is has been quite cool the past couple days. I have gotten quite accustomed to sweating ALL the time tho. :) Just can't get away from that one. I love all my Thai sisters here! Taking language classes five mornings a week is helping me obtain somewhat of a vocabulary and my friends are very gracious in listening and letting me try to speak. Outreaches have been one of the highlights of my time here. Even tho it is such a very spiritually dark atmosphere, I find so much joy in loving in places like this. Constantly I am reminded how much I am dependent on God for His presence to fill me. I want to be so consumed in His love that those I look at and touch are impacted. I want to see heaven come down to earth and transform lives.

During the beginning of the second week I was here, I was tying to go to sleep one night and as I was laying there, I suddenly had this picture come to my mind. I saw myself walking down the streets of Bangkok with Jesus. As we walked on the uneven cement sidewalk surrounded with cars on one side and storefronts on the other, I saw this woman with a little baby begging with a cup in her hand. In this picture I saw myself stoop down to sit beside her and then take her baby and hold him/her in my arms. As the baby was in my arms I started praying over him/her asking that the Holy Spirit would come on this little life to break any curses and bring life. As this picture faded, something inside me came to the surface and lying there on my bed I started to weep uncontrollably. I knew that it was God's heart awakening in me.

The very next day I was walking with one of my friends to go run some errands. (This is in real life now :). There in front of one of the shops sat a young girl with a tiny baby laying on a bed of clothe on the ground in front of her. The only things she had with her were two bottles and a cup for coins. Turning aside, my friend and I knelt down beside her. I pulled out a few coins and dropped them in her cup. In broken Thai, my friend discovered that the baby was only 4 days old. The girl kept glancing up nervously and looking around. As we sat there I put my hand on the infant's tummy and started praying silently. We left shortly after and I haven't seen them since then.

I never know when there will be an encounter with someone that is part of God's bigger plan for me being here. Here is one of those random/fun encounters...One of the first days I was here, I was enjoying some time in the park near my apartment. As I was sitting on a bench, this very cute older Thai woman came walking passed me and on her second time around the fountain, she stopped and reached out her hand. I understood that she wanted me to walk with her. I smiled, stood up and took her hand. A short time later, her daughter and son in law came. They both spoke English and so we talked for a little while. It made me so happy to meet all of them and especially the older woman whom they call "ma". I hadn't seen her since then and then the other day my friends and I walked into one of the pharmacies here. Standing behind the counter I saw the older woman, her daughter and son in law. As my friends were making their purchases, the "daughter" looked at me and said, "Oh, she is friend, I give discount." lol! I never know what kind of contacts I will make here. :). Well I better go, it is near 6:30 and we are going to pray and go on our outreach into the bars. I hope that this has given you a little glimpse into my life here in Thailand. O God, let Your Kingdom come!